Today you are celebrating your birthday with Jesus. It is hard to believe that you would be 5 years old if you were still here with us. Our hearts break because we cannot celebrate with you but at the same time we rejoice in the fact that you are whole again. You are able to run and play, sing and dance and do all the wonderful things you could never do here on earth. I would give anything in the world to be able to hear you sing "Jesus Loves Me" just like I used to sing to you every night as we sat and rocked before your bedtime. I remember the many nights sitting at your bedside in the NICU holding your little fingers and rubbing your little head singing to you as you lay sleeping. I will always cherish those special moments.
Me, Austin and Marvin brought balloons to your graveside at dusk and released them as we sang "Happy Birthday" to you. Each one of them had a card that Austin had written a special message on just for you. The balloons were your favorite colors: red, green and yellow. Austin was so happy to send your birthday balloons to you. He said that he hoped that he would have a dream about you tonight. He misses you so much and talks about you all the time.
I wish you a very Happy Birthday and know that I love you and miss you so very, very much. Today is a very difficult day for me. I have cried alot the past few days as I have today. A part of me died with you. I am not the same person I once was and I really struggle to keep my head up but with God's strength I know that I can make it through each day. Please be with us and give us the strength and comfort to make it through each day. We love you and miss you so much. You will always be our very special angel.
It seemed like only yesterday that I held you in my arms singing "Jesus Loves Me' rocking you as you peeped at me from behind your little pillowcase that we always taped your paci to that was your security blanket. We never ever left the house without that thing. You would always pop that paci in your mouth and throw the pillowcase over your head anytime the doctors would come into the room. They would get the biggest laugh out of you hiding behind your little pillowcase. You would peep out from behind it ever now and then to see if they were still there. I'll never forget the day Cheryl gave you the satin pillowcase with your name embroidered on it as your going away present after being in the hospital for six months. I taped your paci to it, handed it to you and you looked at me like "what the heck is this" and threw it down. I took it and rubbed it on your face and you really liked it then. It was Heaven on Earth from that day forward. It was like pulling teeth to get that thing away from you just to wash it. The day that we buried you before I left the cemetary, I opened your coffin, kissed you on your cheek, put your favorite satin pillowcase paci up to your mouth and flipped the pillowcase over your head just like you always did and told you "nite, nite Punkin, Mommy will see you again real soon, I love you". I wasn't about to let you be buried without your favorite satin pillowcase.
Mother's Day is very hard for me to celebrate with complete joy. I have a void in my heart from not being able to have you with me. I love Austin and Wesley and I am so thankful to have them here with me. They are my life and I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to them, they keep me going, they give me a reason to live. They miss you so very much too. Austin talks about you all the time. How I wish I could take away his pain. Please come to visit him in his dreams. He tells me that you haven't visited him in his dreams in a long time and he wishes that you would because he misses you. Wesley needs you with him too. He doesn't talk about you much but I know his heart is broken from loosing you too. Please visit him and guide him in the right direction and help him to make the right decisions in his life.
I am so thankful that I have a wonderful mother to celebrate Mother's Day with because without her I wouldn't have made it through the past five years. God has really put both me and her through the test and Lord knows our hearts were broken when He decided it was time to bring you back home to Him. But we will rejoice in the fact that you are whole again, you are in no more pain, you are running and playing and happier than we can ever imagine that you could be here on this Earth. No more needles, no more tubes, no more machines, no more tears, only joy, peace and happiness.
I love you Jacob and will always mourn for you until the day we are reunited. Please send our family love, strength and peace to make it through each day without you. Some days are so hard but then you send us a sign to let us know you are with us and it gives us peace. You are our little guardian angel to guide us through each day. We love you and miss you so much!
February 8, 2009 - Two Years in Heaven / Mommy Read >>
February 8, 2009 - Two Years in Heaven / Mommy
Jacob traveled an amazing journey. A journey filled with good times and bad but also filled with purpose. I believe Jacob’s purpose was to unlock the love in people’s hearts. Through sharing Jacob’s story many lives have been saved, many people have come to appreciate life and not take it for granted, many have come back to Christ, many have reached out to strangers to lend a helping a hand, parents that had the opportunity to meet Jacob were so blessed by his will to live and by his strong love for life it taught them to be better parents to their children and cherish every precious moment they have with them. They hug their children a little tighter and thank God for blessing them with healthy children and blessing them with the opportunity to meet one of His special angels.
There are many things Jacob never had the opportunity to experience in life like chasing butterflies through the meadows or playing ball with his brothers but there are many special memories we had with him that we will never forget. I will never forget him lying in the floor watching cartoons with his brother Austin and laughing so hard he could barely catch his breath and kicking his legs so fast wishing he could run, sitting and rocking for hours with his PawPaw Harper, playing “peek-a-boo” with his PawPaw’s hat, being pulled around and around in the swimming pool by his Daddy and big brother his first summer he was home, being pushed in his swing by his MawMaw Harper the last Fall he was at home, and riding around in his little red battery power hot rod car like he was “hot stuff”. I remember all these times just like they were yesterday and Jacob always had the biggest smile on his face and he would just laugh and laugh and you could see the sparkle in his eyes dance like fireflies. He was so full of life. I used to think, “How can a child that has so much wrong with him be so happy”? and the only answer I could ever come up with is “because he is one of God’s special angels, he doesn’t know anything other than the love of life and he has a special purpose on this Earth and that is to spread God’s love” and that is exactly what he did and even though he has passed on his love will always remain. There is not a day that goes by that Jacob’s name is not mentioned. He will remain in our hearts forever. Jacob, we love you and miss you so much. The pain of not having you with us will never, ever go away. You will always be in our hearts and on our minds. We look forward to the day that we are all reunited again. Please be with us and give us the strength to carry on without you. Heal our hearts and give us comfort on the days that we feel only sorrow. Help us to rejoice in the fact that you are whole again and feeling no more pain. Visit us in our dreams. Send us rainbows to let us know you are always with us. You will always be our “Punkin”.
Resting in Jesus' Arms Now / Leslie Pitts (friend of family )Read >>
Resting in Jesus' Arms Now / Leslie Pitts (friend of family )
Baby Jacob, I long for the day that I too get to rest in Jesus' arms. I know your mommy misses you, but you couldn't be in a better place. You are missed so much here on this earth, but someday we will all be together again. So my prayer for you precious baby is sweet rest. Love, Leslie Close
I KNOW YOUR MOMMY MISSES YOU TERRIBLY.. PLEASE SEND HER LOTS OF LOVE AND KISSES AND EVEN A RAINBOW SO SHE KNOWS THAT YOU ARE WITH HER.
I KNOW YOU ARE FREE NOW AND HAVE NO PAIN.. SO YOU FLY AS HIGH AS YOU CAN. GOD NEEDED A PRECIOUS ANGEL LIKE YOU IS WHY HE TOOK YOU. I KNOW YOUR MOMMY MISSES YOU TERRIBLY. SHE TRIES NOT TO SHOW IT BUT I CAN TELL WHEN IT IS BOTHERING HER.
I KNOW I NEVER KNEW YOU BUT I FEEL LIKE YOU ARE A PART OF ME BECAUSE YOUR MOMMY IS. SHE IS AN ANGEL SENT FROM HEAVEN HERSELF. YOU WERE A GIFT TO HER AND THAT IS ONE PAIN THAT SHE WILL NEVER GET OVER.
I LOVE YOU DEARLY & YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART!!!
GIVE MY SHAUN A KISS FOR ME AND TELL HIM THAT HIS MOMMY MISSES HIM AND LOVES HIM WITH ALL HEART!!!!
jacob/ Trish Barnhill (friend of wesleys )
I DID NOT KNOW YOUR PRECIOUS BABY JACOB BUT I DO KNOW WESLEY WHO IS ALSO A BEAUTIFUL CHILD. JACOBS STORY BROKE MY HEART FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. I HOPE HIS MEMORY WILL LIVE ON FOREVER. Close
God bless your family / Tracy/Angel_Wings Stroble Read >>
God bless your family / Tracy/Angel_Wings Stroble
God bless your family on this special day that ^Jacob^ earned his wings. Close
always in your heart / Leslie Zimmerman/conerly (friend)Read >>
always in your heart / Leslie Zimmerman/conerly (friend)
Trovea, I haven't known you long, but our little talks have made me realize how very strong you are. I will never be the one to say i understand or i know what your going through because i don't, but i will always be the one to say I am here for you whenever you need me, day or night.To listen to you and comfort you. You know i have three little girls of my own and it's so hard to imagine being one short. We keep you in my prayers and so do my girls. Jacob is in a better place and is diffently smiling down on his mommy, I see it everytime i look at you. Keep remembering he will always be with you in your heart, and that he is with his other father (GOD) who is holding him for you till he calls you home to. I LOVE YOU girl and if you ever need anything call me.....leslie, blake,alexis,kyla,ashton Close
It is so hard to believe that this will be the second Christmas that Jacob will be spending in Heaven. It has been even more difficult this year than last year to not have him here to celebrate it with us. I don't understand why I have been struggling with the grief even more so this year than last year. Every one always says that the pain will ease with time. I thought I believed that statement but the closer the holidays got this year the harder it was for me to believe. I tried to make myself believe it but my heart would not allow it. I almost broke down in front of Austin one night a couple of weeks ago when we were sitting in the living room talking about Christmas. Austin looked at me and said, "momma do you know what I want for Christmas?......I want you to make me a locket like you have that has a curl of Jacob's hair in it so I can wear it and show everybody that I have something special of my baby's brother's, his hair". It was all I could do not to just loose it right then and there. I told him that I would see what I could do about getting him one of the lockets because they are glass and very hard to find and I would make him one of the lockets. Well, of course, I ordered one of the lockets and last Sunday while I was alone at home I went into Jacob's special keepsake box and got the little baggie that I keep from the hospital that has his hair in it from where they shaved his head when he had to have the shunts put in when had the stroke and I got a little curl out to make Austin his special Christmas locket. As I sat there looking through the stuff that was in the box I had my special time to grieve. I picked up his glow worm that he loved so much and just held it to my face and thought back to all the nights he would fall asleep with that thing tucked next to him. I opened the baggie that held the last paci he had before passing away. It was all stained with formula but it still smelled like Jacob. I keep it sealed in that bag because I don't want to ever forget that smell. There are so many special memories in that box. I pulled them out one by one and just cried so hard as I remembered a special moment for each one of them. I hugged the blanket that I had him wrapped in the night he went to be with Jesus and cried and cried thinking I would give anything to have him wrapped in that blanket again sitting there in my lap at that very moment smiling up at me with those big beautiful blue eyes. So many material memories all packed away in a big plastic storage bin that I can take out every now and then and look at, it's all I have left and it only worsens the pain when I do. That is why I don't go into the keepsake boxes but every once in awhile because the pain is still so intense. I am trying so hard to remember that I lost a child and I will always have that heartache but I also have two other boys that need me just as much as I need them. I know they miss Jacob and hurt for him just as much as I do. Austin talks about Jacob all the the time and he misses him dearly. I wish I could take away their pain but I can't. All I can do is try to be the best mother I can to them and give them what they need. I do not let my boys see me cry over Jacob. I try to keep my focus on them and give them the attention they deserve. I want my boys to have a very Merry Christmas this year and for many years to come. I know that they will always miss Jacob and Jacob will always live in their hearts. Jacob willl always be their guardian angel and watch over them. He is our special angel sent to us and we miss him dearly and will always love him forever. Please pray for our family and many other families who have a child who will be celebrating their Christmas holiday in Heaven. Holidays are so hard on the families who have lost a child. Please pray for the families who are at the hospitals with children who are sick and will not be at home for the holidays and please pray for the families of the children who may celebrating their last Christmas with their families this year. Cherish every special moment you have because you never know when it may be your last.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Jacob, I know you will be having the greatest celebration of your life with Jesus. I can see you running, playing and singing like you never got to do here on Earth. I cry tears of joy now that your body is whole and you feel no more pain. I love you and miss you so much.
I made Austin the glass locket with your lock of hair in it just like the one I made for myself and gave it to him on Christmas Eve. He cherishes it so much. He wears it everyday and the only time he takes it off is to take a shower. He came home from school one day last week upset and told me that he wasn't going to wear it to school anymore because everyone kept asking him what was it in and when he told one little boy that the little boy called him a liar and told him that it was hay not hair and it upset Austin. He is very proud of his locket and it means the world to him. I told him not to worry about what other kids thought because they did not understand what it felt like to loose a brother or sister and they did not understand and to continue to wear his locket because I know that he wanted to but to wear it under his shirt that way he didn't have to answer questions and he could be happy that he had it on because in his heart that is his way of carrying a piece of you with him. Your locket of hair next to his heart gives him comfort and he is so proud to wear that locket. He makes sure that is the first thing he does when gets out of the shower is put is back on. I never knew that it would mean so much to him or I would have made him one when I made mine.
When I went into the library yesterday afternoon to pick him up from the after school program Mrs. Beecham asked me if I was aware that Austin could do PowerPoint programs on the computer and I told her that I knew he could do some stuff on the computer and he was learning how to do them. She told me that she was amazed at one that he had shown her that he had put together. She said that he had went onto his baby brother's memorial page and copied pictures and pulled them into a PowerPoint presentation and had created a special presentation in memory of his baby brother. She said, "he asked me to come look at his new PowerPoint presentation and when we started watching it, he started crying and it was all I could do to not start crying with him, it was so sweet of him to do that and I had no idea how he knew how to do that, I couldn't figure out where he got the pictures from until he showed me the memorial page. " She was in awe that Austin had created this presentation in honor of his baby brother. I was not at all surprised at Austin creating the slideshow in honor of you, Jacob because I know how very much he loves you and misses you and you are constantly on his mind. I am so proud of him for being such a loving child and having the heart to put together something so wonderful to let the world know that you are so very special to him and you always will be. I will get a copy of the slideshow to put with your memory album so that Austin will be able to look back at it when he is a grown up and see that even as a small child you made a huge impact on his life as well as all of our lives.
When we got in the car. I told Austin that I was so proud of him for being so smart and creating the slideshow in honor of you. He told me that he tries to watch your memorial page slideshow but everytime the music starts playing he starts crying and has to turn it off. I told him that it was okay to cry because we miss you and I cry alot too. He shook his head "yes" with big tears in his eyes and looked away. That is what breaks my heart. Seeing him fight back the tears because he doesn't want me to see him cry and me not being able to do anything to help his heartache and pain. That is a pain that we will all live with the rest of our lives. All Austin ever talked about was wanting a baby brother or sister so that he could teach them how to ride a bike and play ball and all the fun stuff big brothers do. Even when you were so sick, Jacob, Austin never gave up on you. He continued to talk about what ya'll were going to do when you learned to talk and walk and etc. He never gave up on you. Even now Austin will say things like, "if Jacob had lived, he would be walking and talking by now, wouldn't he Moma"? you are constantly on his mind. Life is so hard and life is not fair. Austin asks me all the time when we are going to adopt a baby. Adoption is so expensive. I would give anything to be able to adopt a baby for Austin to have a baby brother or baby sister in hopes of it mending his heart a little and trying to fill that empty spot that is there. I see him light up when he is around little kids and it breaks my heart that I can't give him that happiness. I could sit around asking myself "why were you taken from me" all day long for the rest of my life but I know it isn't meant for me to know "why". All I can do is try to move on with my life and try my best to be a good mother to my boys. Maybe God will bless us with a baby to take care of one day. It will never, ever take your place, Jacob but it might make Austin's life a little more happier to have a baby brother or sister that he can have the chance to be a big brother to like he wanted so badly to be to you and then when they get older he can share how special you are to him and how you touched his life in a very special way. Only God knows what is in store for this family.
Jacob, in a few weeks you will be celebrating your two year angel-versary in Heaven. It has been the longest, hardest two years of our lives. Please help us to make it through this next year without you. Please be near us, comfort us and help us to know you are where you need to be. You are feeling no more pain, only joy and we are rejoicing in that fact even though we sometimes start feeling selfish wishing you were here with us, it's hard, because you were so special to us and we miss you so much. You will forever be a part of our lives and will forever live in our hearts. Our love for you will never die. We love you and miss you, Punkin!
Tomorrow will be the 2nd Thanksgiving you will be celebrating in Heaven with Jesus and it seems as if it is even harder this year on me than it was last year. I have really struggled this week dealing with you not being with us this year. They say that usually the first holidays without your child is the hardest but for some reason this year has really hit me hard. I have fought back tears for a week now and today is especially hard being that tomorrow is Thanksgiving and you will not be here with us. Our usual tradition of going to mawmaw and pawpaw's house for Thanksgiving lunch and then going to the Christmas tree farm to cut down the tree is just not something that is not in my plans for tomorrow. We will go and eat lunch but I just cannot get in the Christmas spirit to go to the Christmas tree farm to get the tree. I remember your last Christmas with us carrying you around looking for the perfect tree. Your daddy used to make fun of me because I would always walk around for a few minutes, pick out a tree and would always end up going right back to the very first tree that I picked out. The last year we were there he told me, "just stand there because you know that will end up being the one you want because it is the biggest and fattest tree there is and it is the first one you picked out so don't even worry about walking around for 30 minutes looking, you know that's the one, so just stand there and we will be back in a minute." He was right. I remember when I finally got it all decorated I took you in the dining room so you could see it and you just sat there watching all the pretty lights. You loved all the colors. I will be coming to see you this weekend to decorate your grave for Christmas. Mawmaw Harper has a beautiful ceramic Christmas tree with lights that she is going to put on your grave because she knew you loved the pretty lights. I know that you will love it.
Please be with us Jacob and help us to get through this Thanksgiving Day without you. It is so hard and the emotions are running so high. I don't know who said that the pain gets easier with time but it doesn't. You just have to learn to deal with it and sometimes it is so intense that I feel like my heart will explode. Please be with me, your daddy, your brothers and your grandparents as we face another Thanksgiving without you. We love you and miss you so much, Punkin.
Please continue to send us the beautiful rainbows.
Yesterday I walked outside and looked up and saw double rainbows leading in the direction of the cemetary in which you're buried. I smiled and said, "thank you baby for sending us beautiful rainbows today". I then called Austin outside and said, "look what Jacob sent us today" and pointed up toward the sky. I said, "it goes in the direction of where Jacob is buried" and Austin said, "it does and I bet if we followed it, it would end at his headstone. I will probably have dreams about him tonight. Anytime I see a rainbow I dream about him. I haven't dreamed about him in a long time, maybe I will have a dream tonight." I told him maybe he would. He asked me how I knew that Jacob sent the rainbow and I told him that I prayed for Jacob to send us rainbows to let us know that he is thinking about us and looking over us and to let us know that he is with us. Austin just smiled, said "oh, I see now" and went back in the house.
Last night was Austin's football banquet. He played his 1st year on the Pee Wee team this year. He did so good for it to be his 1st year. He asked earlier in the day if I thought he would get an extra trophy for being the best defensive lineman and I just said, "I'm not sure, you'll just have to wait and see, you know there are alot of boys on your team and all of you are good, you just have to see who the coaches voted on to get the trophy". You know you always think your son is the best in your mind but it doesn't always work out that way in the real world.
We watched a video that the coaches wife put together and they started giving out the trophies. Austin got "All Conference" as well as many others on his team, there were several who got "Honorable Mention" and then it was time to announce the "special trophies" is what I call them. It looked like they had about 8 or 10 of them, I can't remember all I do remember is Coach Wink saying..........."Best Defensive Lineman..........Austin Snelling!".............I turned into the"red neck moma"............I hooped and hollered for my baby!!!! I am so proud of him. He looked up and was so suprised! I could not believe it. I gave him the thumbs up and said "that's my baby". I looked at his daddy and said, "that's our boy"!
After the banquet when he came over to us I told him, "Austin now you know why we saw the rainbow this afternoon before we came to the banquet, huh? Jacob was sending you good luck, he knew you were going to get this trophy tonight............he smiled and said, yeah and that's really weird!" He was so excited and his dad and I were so happy for him that we could hardly stand it.
Thank you Jacob for sending the double rainbows on such a special day for Austin. We love you and miss you so very, very much. Please keep sending us the rainbows to let us know you are with us. We need you to continue to give us strength to carry on even though you are no longer with us. Some days are harder than others but you will always remain in our hearts forever.
Please keep a special hand on your big brother's heart right now. He is going through some really trying times right now. He needs guidance and direction in his life. He loves you and misses you so much.
Sorry/ Kelly Pritchett (none)
sorry to hear about our son, little ones are so precious , but he is with the lord , and is not hurting and no more pain , and one day we will go so see him , and know he is safe and better than we are here and say hi jacob good to see u again son. and we will walk those streets of gold to our home in heaven , and be the one we love . and always remember when we stay sick to long , god know all about us better than we know our selves , Remember god loves jacob as he loves his mom to .... you friend in christ kelly pritchett Close
I miss you so much and all I can think about is holding you in my arms and seeing that precious smile of yours and hearing you say "moma". I have been so depressed the last few weeks. I go through my spells where all I can think about is you all day and all night. Every where I turn all I see is memories of you. I sit at work and watch your pictures flash across my screen at work, I stare at the pictures I have posted everywhere at home and at work. I can't seem to do anything else but think about all the good times that you brought into our lives. I think about all the times that you and Austin used to sit in the floor and watch cartoons and all the fun that he had playing with you and the thrill he would get out of making you laugh. It breaks my heart to hear him talk about you not being with us anymore. He asks me all the time when we are going to adopt another baby because he misses you so much and I can only tell him that "I don't know" because I don't know. I want to adopt to try and fill that void that we all have but nothing can fill that void that we have of loosing you. I want to adopt another baby to try and bring joy back into Austin's life again to give him another baby brother or sister to have to love so that he doesn't feel so alone but I am in the situation to where it is impossible because adoption is so expensive and it is such a long waiting process and you risk being heartbroken when it falls through. We went through that heartache last year when we were offered the chance of adopting a baby from Children's that needed a home, the mother had put the baby up for adoption, we discussed it with Austin and he was so excited to be getting a baby brother and then the mom decided to keep the baby.........Austin was heartbroken as well as me and I cannot tell you how bad it hurt. I do not want to hurt him like that again. He was so disappointed. I guess it is the fact of the holidays coming up so quickly that I am slipping back into depression knowing that we are going to have to celebrate another Thanksgiving and Christmas without you that is really tearing at my heart. I hate it and there is nothing that I can do about it.
I feel so empty inside and I know that Austin feels the same. He talks about it too much to not be feeling the hurt that I feel also. God how I wish I could heal his pain. I have been dealing with extreme migraines for many months now and I think alot of it has to do with depression and stress that I am feeling from loosing you. I do good and can go for months without being wrapped up in the emotions of loosing you and then "wham" it hits me like a ton of bricks and I loose control. I try so hard to keep it hidden and not let people see it and that is what causes my health to start slipping. I want to feel good again. I want to rejoice in the fact that you are in God's hands and not feeling pain anymore but yet the selfish side of me wants you back so badly. I, like any other mother who has lost a child, wants you back in my arms again to hold and kiss and love on and tell you how much I love you and to be able to rock you in my arms at night and sing "Jesus love me" like I used to every night. I miss those special moments. A huge part of me died with you, Jacob and I am trying so hard to go on living but it is so hard to put a smile on my face when I am so unhappy inside. I know I have two other boys that I need to live for and I pray that you give me the strength to try and make their lives happy and help me to continue to be a good mother to them. They are my life and my world and I don't know what I would do if I lost them too.
Jacob, please be with me at all times and give me strength and send me signs that you are always with us. We love you and miss you so much.
Ever since i came accross this page i cant stop thinking about gorgeous lil Jacob. Last week, every single day without fail when driving home from my mums me and my daughter would se a rainbow, thank you so much for that lil man it was beautiful. I dont know wether its because i was thinking about you or not but i loved it!
Im hoping one day me and my daughter will se you and your mummy together again once our time on earth is done , and until then i know my daddy is up in heaven looking over you and all you angel friends whom have been called back to heaven. I know it sounds a bit weird (and no im not a christian or anything though i do believe in god) but i think all of the babies and children who only spend a lil while down on our earth are just his angelks coming to check on us all and make sure things are ok.
I will keep coming on here and lighting candles for you when i can and i will keep getting the updates so until then take care, and just wanting to let you know your son has really touched my heart in a way i cannot explain. r.i.p lil Jacob xoxo talk soon angel
Thank you so much for sharing Jacobs Rainbow. What a beautiful story and what an inspiration this is to us all. i am so glad that you had this happen as I know you miss Jacob so very much. I know that it seems as though he finds a way to ease your pain just when you need it most. God Bless you Trovia, you and your entire family. Jacobs story has been such an ispiration and I will continue to stay close to him though you and your constant devotion to tell his story.
I love Jacob!!! / Lori Mommy 2. Twins Kinsey And Kylee (loving friends )Read >>
I love Jacob!!! / Lori Mommy 2. Twins Kinsey And Kylee (loving friends )
Hi sweet boy! I know its been awhile since Ive stopped by your site-but there has not been one day that your not in my heart!! I think of you so often and send you my hugs n kisses everyday!! I love your sweet smile and I cant wait for the day that I get to wrap my arms around the lil man who has brought so much joy into my life without even trying!! Your mom is pretty special too-she really encourages me and my schooling-which I will be graduating on Sept 19th with my LPN!! Finally-its been the longest 11 months ever-snyway sweetheart I just wanted to stop by and say hi and that I love you- give my kinsey and kylee hugs from me!!
The most amazing thing happened to me this afternoon. I walked outside onto our back patio with my boyfriend and something caught me eye. There was a rainbow peeking through the clouds. As most of you know I always ask Jacob to send me a rainbow to let me know he is near and since his death I have only seen three.
I told Marvin "look Jacob has sent me a rainbow." It was so beautiful but we could only see 1/4 of it peeking through the clouds. As I stood there admiring it's beauty I said, "Show me the whole rainbow, baby, mommy wants to see it all"............no one would have ever believed me if Marvin wasn't there to witness what happened next. Within seconds of me saying this the wind started blowing ever so gently, the clouds started moving and we stood there and watched in awe as the rainbow grew across the sky. Tears started streaming down my face as the rainbow appeared before my eyes. It was so big and beautiful and it seemed as if I could reach right up and touch it. I don't live but a few minutes from the cemetary where Jacob is resting and it looked as if it ended at the cemetary. I felt Jacob's presence all around me and I was filled with so much warmth and peace. It is so hard to explain but I would have given anything if everyone could have witnessed this awesome display. As I stood there looking up at this beautiful rainbow I said, "Thank you, Jacob for sending mommy a rainbow, I love you and miss you so much".........at this moment it started lightly sprinkling rain. I closed my eyes as the rain lightly misted my face. I felt as though Jacob's was letting me know that he knew my pain and that he was watching over me. The raindrops felt like tiny kisses on my face. I stood there and watched the rainbow slowly fade before my eyes. I sat in awe for the rest of the afternoon. I caught myself looking out the window several times thinking I might see the rainbow again but it did not appear again.
Sometimes we experience things in our lives that cannot be explained and we know that it can only be God. What happened to me this afternoon will forever remain in my heart. God is so awesome and I praise Him for giving me the opportunity to take care of such a special angel of His. I cannot wait for the day that Jacob meets me at the gates of Heaven.
"Punkin, you brought us so much joy and taught us that life is too short. You were so full of life and your eyes would just sparkle with love and joy you had for all of us. You were a blessing to all of us and your mawmaw and pawpaw Harper are blessing others through the ministry they created in your memory. Please be with all of us and continue to give us strength and comfort to make it through each day without you. We love you and miss you so much!" Close
Thank you for visiting Lena's site and for your kind words. What a beautiful son you have. I am so sorry for your loss. The story of the balloon is just wonderful. Keeping your family in our prayers.
Tributes and Condolences
Ever since i came accross this page i cant stop thinking about gorgeous lil Jacob. Last week, every single day without fail when driving home from my mums me and my daughter would se a rainbow, thank you so much for that lil man it was beautiful. I dont know wether its because i was thinking about you or not but i loved it!
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