Hi Trovia  / Lori Mommy 2. Twins Kinsey And Kylee (friend)
Hello Trovia-Im thinking of you and your family as I do all the days of my life. I have been so busy it seems this last week, starting school and dealing with my sons dbl ear infections and taking him to daycare(friend)but still a transition for us both, having my dad & stepmom here, which we all love, we only see them usually 2 times a year, so its a nice change to have them. I have a ton of homework,I think I;ll have to send my husband to church tomorrow,and I'll stay home to catch up on my homework. It's been nuts. Thats our life though, oh we also coach 2 diff teams, both our girls play. so of course we have to coach both, also my husband has fire drill Mon, and he's running for city council,,,,geez can we do anymore?Im sure we will weather we want to or not. I came to Jacobs site tonite because we all have had some troubles adjusting to my new schedule, everone is used to mommy being home and having all done(for the most part). Anyway I just re-read all of Jacobs site again, I haven't done that for awhile, your entries about Jacob's last days here were heart wrenching, as all of Jacob's story is. The love and strength of your family is an amazing love, a love I believe can only be accomplished through the love of Christ, because what happened in your life is unimaginable to me. YOur Jacob reminds me so much of my lil Cayleb-his big eyes, his big smile-Trovia he really was an angel on earth. I am always talking of you and your family, always wishing there was some way I could help with your ministry, I am heartbroken by the storms damge, but I know you-your family will get back on track-I pray daily for your blessings for your parents relentless hardships, for all of your efforts-they will prevail-you have blessed so many and I know you will continue too, I have to get busy with my studies, lots of A&P to study today. I will write later in the weeek, until then, know that your in my daily thoughts, as I go through each day, my love for you is real and strong and I am amazed at how your family thrives. God Bless You-Lori Close

me again  / Kara Hugo
Again I don't know you but I just couldn't check my e-mail without coming to this site.  Everytime I check out this site i read something new that i hadn't seen before.  To day what really touched me was the journal enteries, i guess i just never took the time to read before, and wow the love and emotion in those enteries is unreal.  Also the things you wrote about the doctors and nurses.  Connor ( my son ) was only in the hospital for a short time, but the doctors and nurses do become an extended family, i still go to the hospital and take connor to see his primary nurse (kim, we love kim).  I find myself thinking about your family during the day.  I'm a hairdresser and today for some reason i told one of my clients about the ministry getting ruined in the storm and how it really upset me to see the  aftermath.  I hope you and your family the best,  you are handling this loss so well ( at least to a total stranger anyway).  I just within the last year started attending church and so my spiritual strength is not as strong as i hope someday it will be ( as strong as yours, would be amazing)  but i hope to get there. Close

What an amazing story  / Kara Hugo
Hi you don't know me, i am a friend of lori (kinsey and kylie"s mom).  Lori and I haven't been friend for long and so I went on to the web site for her girls to understand her loss and her healing.  Lori told me about Jacob and I have been to his site a number of times, I even made my mom look at this site with me.  I find my self thinking about Jacob alot through the days and weeks that pass.  I think it is a wonderful tribute to your sons life, and all the work you are doing for the hospital is such a blessing for those people in need.  I am so sorry to see the storm damage. 

My son was born at 29 weeks, he is now 7 months old.  We spent 60 days in the NICU.  In this time i met so many families, and i saw the hurt, the greif, and the love of so many families.  I can not even comprhend the strength you and your family have.  You are a true example to me.  I have never met you but through the work you have done for your son and for your comunity, I hope to someday be half as strong as you. Close

Another Angel in Heaven  / Mommy

Jacob,
I can see you now as you greeted Jesus at the gates of Heaven when he brought baby Jackson Home yesterday.  Vickie took such good care of you while you were in the hospital and you meant the world to her.  Jackson was a fighter just like you.  He was given to Vickie for only a little while but she cherished every moment.  She was a wonderful mommy.

Let her know that you are with Jackson and you will be his big brother along with Austin, Joshua and the many other angels that Vickie once took care of.  Send her your love as you do me.  Let her know that he is okay and that ya'll are free now and you will be waiting at the Gates of Heaven when it is our time to be reunited.

Vickie is hurting so bad right now, Jacob.  Just like I did for you when you left this world lying in my arms.   I miss you every single minute of the day and the pain is so strong and so I know how she is feeling.  It is something that we will never get over.  Send her lots of your love and let her know that Jackson will always be with her.

I love you, baby boy and miss you so, so much. 

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Thank you for visiting  / Mommy

Jacob,
Last week Austin came to me and told me that he had the best dream.  I asked him what he dreamed about and he said that he heard something in mawmaw and pawpaw Harper's kitchen and went in there to see what all the noise was about and you were running around in the kitchen playing with all mawmaw's pots and pans.  The look of joy in his eyes while he was telling me about seeing you running and playing was so overwhelming.  I fought back the tears.  I told him that he was a very special little boy to have Jacob come visit him in his dreams.  That Jacob wanted him to know that he was with him and everything was going to be okay.  It made Austin so happy to be able to see you running around mawmaw's kitchen.  

Thank you, Punkin, for bringing some happiness to your brother. Now that your brothers and I are starting a new life of our own it has been stressful and he really needed to see you.  He talks about you alot and misses you dearly.  We all do.

Have fun chasing butterflies and jumping in mud puddles.  I know that you are happy and free.  

I love you and miss you more than words can ever describe.

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You're still touching lives  / Mommy
WHMA95 has been doing a radiothon the last few days at the Quintard Mall to raise money for Children's Hospital.   You're mawmaw and pawpaw Harper were asked to come down there and talk about your life and how Children's Hospital was such an important part of our lives.  They took big, framed pictures of you and shared them with all the people who came by to look.  Your story was told over and over and once again you changed lives.  There were people who would stand listening with tears streaming down there faces as mawmaw and pawpaw told of your love for life and the trials you endured for God's will.

Benji Wright and Randy McNally were the two DJ's that were there on Monday and they attempted to read "Whisper of an Angel" one of the poems that I have on your memorial and neither of them were able to read it because of being overcome with emotion.  Thank you Benji and Randy for all the hard work you did to raise money for Chidlren's Hospital.

Jacob you have touched so many hearts and even though you are no longer with us, you're life is a blessing to all.

We love you and miss you so much.  I am so proud to be called your "mommy".

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a little miracle  / Hannah Chitwood (cousin)

winning the lottery,havin your team win state, findin that perfect guy..all miracles, but the best miracles come in children..
money eventually gets spent.
everyone eventually forgets your team won.
that perfect guy turns out not to be so perfect..
but miracles in children change not only the world,but our lives..and thats what jacob did for me and many others..
some people think that once someone dies, there gone for good, that is not true at all... look around..God and angels are trying to show us that they will always be with us.. just in our hearts.I know it takes a very long time to realize it, but they are..you just have to let them show you..
when jacob was born,gosh i didnt really know what to think, nothing like that had ever happened to me..you know when a great opertunity comes around and you know you just have to take it?thats how i felt when my mamaw asked me for the first time to go see jacob, only better. i was a little scared for him at first,but as time went on, he grew to be my hero.when jacob died, i didnt know what to think, i wanted to beleive he was still here,and i wanted to be mad at someone...then my grandmother gave me an important question.. would jacob want me to greive and be mad?
that question played over in my head, a million times..then i realized, jacob wasnt gone, he was in my heart and spirit..
i matured so much in my time with jacob, I dont think i would be the person i am today if I never had met him..thats why hes my miracle and so many others too..
 So next your outside take the time to look around and see what god has put before you, and you'll realize they never left you..

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YOur always with me  / Lori Mommy 2. Twins Kinsey And Kylee (friend)
Hi Trovia and Gary-I just wanted to say that I've been thinking of you both and your family, and of course Jacob, it seems he never leaves my mind or heart, which is fine with me, because most of the time he makes me smile and fills my heart with this bittersweet beat, but latley I cannot stop my tears from falling. I blame it on the weather, fall is here and the holidays follow and I miss my girls, and I miss your Jacob and Sophie and casey and....will there ever be a time in my life that I wont have a bad day? I guess I hope not cause it might mean that I've accepted it...I know I shouldn't be venting here on Jacobs beautiful site, but I just felt I needed to tell you as I have many, many times before, how much this lil man has touched my heart, and your beautiful family and love for Christ. Sometimes it's so hard not to just kick and scream but I think my other kids might threaten to send me to my room :) Anyway I just wanted to say hello, your in my hearts always and I keep you in my prayers. I did recieve your e-mail for the store, how exciting. I would love to danate when I can, right now, this month I am paying for my school tuition, i had to came up with 8300.00 in less than 3 months, thats been a chore and I still have 2800 to go...hopefully it will happen. Im starting my LPNcourse and hope to finish my RN with in a few years. We will see, here are a couple of goodies I found for you..

Love you all, Lori Close

I can only imagine  / Mommy
Jacob,
Today was OxfordFest and mawmaw and pawpaw Harper had a bake sale in your honor to raise money for Children's Hospital.  Mawmaw has been cooking for weeks to have enough goodies to sale.  I don't know the total yet but I know that alot of goodies were sold.  

I'm so very proud of your mawmaw and pawpaw for working so hard to show the world how much you meant to them and at the same time giving to the people who now walk in the shoes that we once walked.

When I got in the car to leave this morning "I Can Only Imagine" started playing on the radio as soon as I started the car.  Jeff Angles sang that song at your "Celebration of Life".................I fought back the tears as I listened knowing that was your way of letting me know you are with us and that you are happy.

I love you and miss you so very much.





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Just a moment...  / Jennifer Cupps (Friend)

Trovia, 

I wanted to stop by for a moment to let you know I am always praying for you and your family! I have thought of you so often this semester, everytime it is hard everytime I want to give up on becoming a nurse I think of the night I met you and how I know God allowed me to meet you so that I could benefit from your strength and courage and love! Thank you so much for being so brave and sharing Jacobs life! I come here to see his smile and the love you two share it reminds me to keep going. I read you went back to school and I am so proud of you! Maybe we can work together one day : ) I am praying for you always always! 

Love
Jennifer C.

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Thank you for sending me a rainbow  / Mommy
Jacob,
This weekend has been really hard for me.  I have been very upset and depressed the majority of the time. I miss you so much and it has just been one of those weekends when every little thing that I see reminds me of you and I cry.  I know that you don't want me to cry for you, baby, I know that you are in a much better place but my heart hurts so bad to hold you and kiss those fat little cheeks.

Me, your daddy and brothers went to church with your PawPaw & MawMaw Harper yesterday.  It was very hard because we have not been since June and I had so much weighing heavily on my heart.  The praise and worship started and the second song (I don't remember the name of it) started playing and on the screen was the most beautiful picture of Jesus standing with His hands raised to the Heavens.  I remember hearing bring your burdens to the Lord and I stepped out into the isle.  I went to the alter, got on my knees and wept so hard.  I wept for you and for my family and for the day that I would get to see you again.  I don't know how long I was down there but I had so many people laying hands on me praying for me to receive peace and comfort.

Yesterday, I had to go to the store and as I turned my head to back out of the parking spot something caught my eye..........I saw the biggest, most beautiful rainbow!  I stopped right there in the middle of the isle and tears of joy streamed down my face as I looked at this rainbow.  

Jacob, it looked as if it were shining right over the direction of your grave.  I decided to follow it...............I watched the rainbow as I drove and  it took me right to the cemetary which was about five minutes away.  I got out of my car and looked up in the sky and it was gone.  I know that you sent me that rainbow, Jacob and you will never know how much it meant to me to look up and see it shining as beautiful as your eyes did when you smiled at me.  I cried and cried with tears of joy.    Thank you, Punkin, for sending mommy the rainbow to let me know that you are okay and I will be okay too.  

I miss you so much. 

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littleman / Joyce Chitwood (great-aunt)
jacob, we miss you so much. your mom misses you so much give her a sign that you are well and happy with god.'' brood over your troubles and hatch despair. trust them to god and your victory is sure'.love you joyce Close

The Rainbow  / Lisa Kissic (Friend and mommy to an angel )
What a beautiful sign from Jacob.  Dylan loved rainbows!!  He has sent me so many since he passed away.  He sent me one the day he passed and a double rainbow the day after.  He sent me one on his 1 year angelversary.  I truly believe that our boys send those to us to comfort us and to let us know that they are ok and for us to be happy.  I think about Jacob so much and I imagine what he must be like now.  PERFECT in every way!!  I know him and Dylan are having the time of their lives and even though we miss them so much and we are so sad they would never want to leave that glorious place to come back.  I pray for you and Gary and the boys everyday.  I pray that God give you comfort and strength to get through this healing process.  I love you Close

A pumpkin for a punkin  / Lori Mommy 2. Twins Kinsey And Kylee (friend)



Heres a lil pumpkin and I hope that you will like it-theres a kitty kitty popping out-love u so so much Jacob-Goodnight baby boy Close

The Rainbow  / Mommy
Jacob,
I was talking to a friend and told them how I had not seen a rainbow since you went to Heaven.  To me, rainbows are God's sign of saying "I am with you".....................I have longed to see a rainbow for quite some time now.

Yesterday, I went to your grave and made an arrangement of roses that I had collected for you.  I wanted to make a spread at your headstone, something special.  I put one of your favorite rattles in the center of the flowers because I always want something personal and special to you to be there.  I moved the crystal piece that Pawpaw and Mawmaw Harper made for you to the outside corner of the headstone and put your little guardian angel on the other side.

I took several pictures before leaving.  As I turned to say "goodbye, I love you, baby" a rainbow was suddenly cast across the beautiful roses that lay at your headstone.  I smiled with tears of joy streaming down my face as I walked back to my car.  I sat there for a minute thanking God for giving me comfort.

I spend alot of time here lately crying because I hurt so bad that you are not in  my life.  You took a piece of me with you when you left this world, but I know that I will heal in time, as everyone tells me.  I will always carry the scar that remains until the day that we are reunited again.

I love you and miss you so very much.


Wesley's birthday was Thursday.  He turned 17 years old. He wanted a tattoo in memory of you.  I honored his wishes.  He told me as he was getting the tattoo that the pain of that tattoo was nothing compared to the pain you endured while you were here with us and if you could handle the pain that came with fighting for your life, he could handle a little needle pain to let the world know how much you are with  him and mean to him .  

We love you, Punkin!




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DADDY misses you PUNKIN!  / GAry Snelling (DADDY)
Its been 8 months since ive been able to hear your voice .  Its been 8 months that i've tried to say everything is alright you were in heaven and i was fine with that .    Well today i am wrong.  I never really knew how much you affected my life and the othersaround me .  I miss you everyday .  you mother has been missing you alot here lately and has put a little friction between us but i guess its my falt on account ive been real bull headed and tried to be the "man" in all this and not see what was going on all around me .  I know your big bothers miss u . Espeacially Peep    he talks about u a lot and i see it in him when we are around smallr children  he still wants to be a big brother .AS for bubba he is older and better at hiding it   also he has girls on the brain but i still see in his eyes in conversation .  I dont think your mom will ever heal she has her good days and her bad but mostly i just think she misses you and it affects all of us in different ways . I am reasured when i think of you runninng and playing in heaven i wish i was there to teach you about all the different things you have seen   but i guess u will be teachin me about them one day , but i still cant help but miss u i miss the smell of your curly hair and the grasp of your little hand around my finger u always done that for me even when u were sick or just tired u would hold my hand from the time u were in NI till the day u were gone  and now as i think about it brings tears to my eyes I miss u little buddy and i promise i will write back I know i speak for the whole family when i say WE LOVE YOU!!!!      be  good 


                     DADDY Close

Your bedtime music is playing.............---..  / Mommy
Jacob,

I have not played your bedtime music since the last night I got to rock you to sleep.  I remember how you would always love to hear your music in order to relax and go to sleep.    We never went to the hospital without your cd player and your lullabies cd.  I would play it over and over, especially when you didn't feel good and we would sit up most of the night rocking and listening to your special music.

I have your bedtime music playing now, Jacob.  As I sit here, I can close my eyes and almost feel as if you are with me lying in my arms, your paci in your mouth, your special pillowcase thrown over your eyes, and me patting your little butt as you drift off to sleep.

I miss you so much, Punkin!  As I listen to your music I can only cry wishing you were still here in my arms.   My heart aches so bad for you to be with me but at the same time, I wouldn never wish all that pain on you ever again. 

I know that you are having the time of your life with Jesus.  Yesterday was your 7 month "angelversary" in Heaven.  

I can see you chasing the beautiful butterflies...............run, Jacob, run as you never got to do on this Earth.  Be free my precious angel.

I love you so, so much!


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I found this and thought of you  / Lori Sullivan (friend in Christ )
Hi Trovia-I hope you dont mind that I added this I found it and instantly thought of you, I know how much this verse means to you, I wish it sparkled or something. I hope you are doing well,you all are always on my mind and I find myself always talking about JAcob and his strength and yours too. I also wanted to let you know that I got accepted into the LPN program in Boise, I'm so excited. I've always wanted to be a nurse but until I lost the twins I never had much of a "push" to finish, I eventually want to get my RN but for now lpn will do. ANyway I just wanted to say hello and see how all was, although I know mostly.....I pray for u all always -Love Loei momma 2 twin angels Kinsey&Kylee Close

Dear sweet little Jacob...........  / Bernadette McTaggart (Angel mother of Kevin )



I have met you through your Mother, and she is a sweet heart as you well know! One day I hope that we meet, since you and my son have met not long ago! I know you stay close to your mommy and daddy, paw and grandma. Loosing you will be a loss our heart will never get over till we see you again! I know my son Kevin is taking care of you and teaching you how to dance.... he loved music, and and life to get ready little Jacob, Kevin might be a hand full, but he will be your best friend. I know your mommy is in pain. I feel it, because I felt it when I lost Kevin. We both held our boys in our arms when it was time to say goodbye! I hope and pray to meet your family one day, I feel as though I know them as family now. Rest my little one, and fly high as you can. Because when you are in Heaven Angels Fly Together! So fly High with my Kevin in Heaven.................We all love and miss you!

Bernadette McTaggart



I love to see that smile little man! You are so sweet!

Love, Bernadette
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In Honor and Admiration of Our Daughter  / Trovia's Mother
Today as I sit here thinking about the past 31/2 years. I think of a strong, courageous, kind, loving mother and wife. Our daughter, Trovia.
The trials, and storms, she as a mother has gone through. The times during her darkest hours. As she nursed Jacob through some of the. "at the edge of death moments". Many times staying for weeks at the hospital and hours staying in the E.R. waiting for an open room for Jacob.
Being so sick sometimes herself. She always set her feelings aside. Jacob came first,then her other boys and husband. She worried because she knew the boys were at home making the best they could of the situation. Her husband, Gary, doing the best he could.
I don't know if I could have remained as calm as she was. Yes. my husband and I were with them as much as we could be. 
Through all the times of rushing home from work an hour away. Racing to the hospital at 90 mph. with Jacob. Sitting and waiting in the E.R. for 6 to 8 hours sometimes. Trovia handled everything calmly. All the times the doctors said Jacob would never make it through the night. She stood strong, and held to God's unchanging hand.
Because, it's not over until God says it's over.
As in the evening of Sept. 2005 when Jacob coded. She stood on the Word of God as she prayed and cried out to Him. And He showed up and showed out. in His wonderful mercy and grace, He answered her prayers. He gave her another year and a half to spent with one of His beauitful angels. To hold, to love, and be a good stewart over what belong to Him.
There is so much more I could say about our daughter and her love for her family.
For now. I want everyone to know how much we, (her father and I ), love and admire the wonderful loving mother and wife that she is.

We Love You Trovia.
Daddy and Moma
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