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| June 2, 2004 |
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Jacob Christian Snelling (who was originally "Arianna Denea Faith Snelling" before birth) was born six weeks early on June 2, 2004 at Shelby Baptist Medical Center via C-Section by Dr. J. Hancock.
We had been expecting a little girl for two months and was very much surprised when Dr. Hancock said it was a boy.
This day was the beginning of a very, long hard road ahead.
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| February 8, 2007 |
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Everyone called Jacob the "Miracle Baby." He was born with no kidneys and hypoplastic lungs and was never expected to live.
When he was 8 days old his lung collapsed and we were told he wouldn't make it. God allowed us to keep him.
September 28, 2005, he died in the operating room due to a major infection and we were told that he would not survive to see morning. God allowed us to keep him a little longer.
February 3, 2007, Jacob faced one last battle. He suffered a stroke which left him with severe brain damage. My husband and I were told once again that there was no hope. Time and time again Jacob has proved the doctors wrong but this time God laid it upon my heart that it was time for Him to bring Jacob Home.
My husband and I made the hardest decision we have ever had to make in our lives...............we took Jacob off his vent and let him "run to Jesus".
Our hearts are torn apart by Jacob's passing. He was 2 1/2 years old. We thank God and praise Him for allowing us to have Jacob for the 2 1/2 years.
Jacob taught us the true meaning of "life" and "love".
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| Jacob's last days |
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Journal Entry, February 7, 2007
As many of you may know, Gary and I met with the team of doctors yesterday to discuss Jacob's condition. Within that room was some of the finest people that I have ever met in my life. Each and every one of them will always have a very special place in our hearts.
We were shown the CT scans of Jacob's head and the difference in the scan that I saw in October and the one that I saw of him from Saturday night are unreal. Jacob's brain is not growing it is shrinking. He suffered a very severe stroke and has a bad brain bleed. The type of stroke that he had is primarily seen in elderly people age 70+. They have never seen a stroke like this in a child. The damage is in the third ventricle of the brain which is one of the more important part of the brain. It controls speech, swallowing, sight, etc.
From what we can see, the stroke was causes by the bone disease that Jacob's has due to him not having kidneys. The disease has caused Jacob's vessels in his brain to become hardened and brittle. He will not get any better even with shunts in his head. The likelihood of him having more strokes and bleeds is extremely high. He will never be the Jacob we once knew. There is also the possibility of the hardening moving into his heart and other vital organs and vessels as well.
After much discussion, we all came to terms that Jacob will not get better and that keeping him on life support would only be delaying the inevitable.
Gary and I both knew before the meeting took place that "our" Jacob was no longer with us. I knew it Sunday morning when I looked into his eyes. The beautiful sparkle that was always there for me was gone. A mother knows. A part of me had already slipped away.
I cannot begin to tell you the pain that I have felt over the past few days. I feel like my heart has been ripped out. I hurt so bad at times that I feel like I could die but then I also feel totally empty as if the world has stopped.
They say that you never know what true love is until you bring a child into the world..............you will never know true pain and heart ache until you watch your child slipping from this world.
I now know how God felt as He watched His Son suffer and die on the cross.
The entire PICU team has been wonderful. They have/are making every effort to make this transition as smooth and easy as possible.
Jacob has been resting somewhat peacefully today. We did run ito some respiratory issues lather this afternoon but finally got his vent setting comfortable for Jacob.
I gave him a bath tonight for the first time since Saturday. I needed that special time with him. It was very heartwarming.
Journal Entry, February 9, 2007
Jacob is doing absolutely wonderful today. He earned his angel wings last night at 11:26pm. He is now running and playing and having the time of his life.
Our plans for Jacob changed yesterday when his central venous pressures kept staying high. With the pressure being so high we were not going to be able to donate his heart. So we had to make the hardest decision we ever had to make in our lives……we decided that it was time to allow Jacob to run to Jesus’ open arms and be free from the pain and suffering.
Jacob and my family were scheduled to be taken down to a holding room outside the operating room at 10:00pm. A baby girl in Florida, 17 months old desperately needed a liver transplant and Jacob matched. We did not realize how many stipulations there are in organ donations. The only way Jacob could donate his liver was if he passed within an hour of being taken off his vent. There are so many mixed emotions there……….you want to hold on so long but yet you want him to go on to Heaven in order to give another baby the gift of life.
We had a very special time with Jacob before taking him down. Our pastor Brother Angles came and Jacob’s room was filled with so many friends and family. We had prayer and sang songs of worship and thanksgiving as Jacob rested on his daddy’s chest. It was very moving.
Our immediate family, pastor Angles, Dr. Makris, and Dr. Toful joined us to say goodbye. Jacob being Jacob fought so hard but felt no pain. I held him in my arms and told him “run to Jesus baby, run………you have been such a good boy and mommie loves you”. Brother Angles sang “Jesus Loves Me” and Jacob took Jesus’ hand at 11:26pm.
Funeral Arrangements have not been finalized. Tentatively the visitation will be Sunday afternoon somewhere between the hours of 2pm and 6pm at Anniston Memorial Gardens. The Celebration of Jacob’s Life will be on Monday at the Chapel at Anniston Memorial Gardens with burial to be in Wellington.
I want each of you to know that we love you and thank you for all the support that you have shown our family over that past 2 ½ years. May God bless you and thank you for allowing our family to share our special baby Jacob with you and your family.
Journal Entry, February 13, 2007
What a beautiful celebration of Jacob’s life we have had the past few days. So many friends and family came to visit with us and say goodbye to our special angel.
For those of you who were not able to visit, being the detailed person that I am, I would love to share with you the details of Jacob’s Celebration of Life.
My wish was to be able to dress Jacob and place him in his bed (coffin) one last time. Steve, the funeral director was very hesitant to let us see Jacob at first. He not knowing how we would react was the cause of his hesitation of course. We both assured him that we would be fine and so he took us in to see him. My one main concern was that I did not want Jacob to be caked in makeup. I was so happy to see the wonderful job that Steve did. Jacob looked absolutely beautiful! His makeup was natural looking and he had the sweetest smile on his face. I was so happy. My husband left the room and Steve helped me get Jacob dressed. I had not asked Steve earlier about putting Jacob in his bed but he was very gracious in honoring my request.
My husband and I chose a baby blue coffin for Jacob. It had a little boy angel embroidered on the inside lid to represent the angel that Jacob was to us.
All of you that know Jacob knew that he hated to wear clothes. Unless we had to dress him to go out he always wore just his diaper around the house. So Gary and I wanted Jacob to be dressed as we always saw him. Not in a suit or dressy clothing but in his diaper and t-shirt. We know that is how Jacob would want to be dressed so we put him in his “Spoiled Rotten” t-shirt, his diaper and a pair of socks. I put his famous pacifier on the silk pillow case in his hand, his baby blue bible that was given to him by Amy Crain’s three children lay at his feet, his glow worm sat in the corner of his bed, his favorite frog chew toy that Sherrie, one of his nurses had given him was in his left hand and my guardian angel pin that has mine and his June birthstones in it on his shirt. He looked absolutely at peace. I could not take my eyes off of his sweet smile! I knew he was running and playing and having the time of his life and I know that God put that sweet smile on Jacob’s face to assure me that Jacob was happy and having no more pain.
I decorated the parlors with pictures of my family with Jacob. I sat some of his favorite stuffed animals around the pedestal platform that his coffin sat on. I put together a slide show with music that was playing in the sitting parlor. Everyone stood crying while watching the slideshow telling us how much he had touched their hearts and how he always had that big beautiful smile no matter what he was going through. I wanted this to be Jacob’s special day. I wanted it to be a day of Celebration of Jacob’s life.
My other two sons took it pretty hard especially Austin, my 7 yr old. He understood that Jacob was with Jesus and that he would see him again one day when he went to heaven. There were so many times during visitation when there was only a few people around that Austin knelt beside Jacob’s coffin, prop his head on his arm that he rested on the side of the coffin and softly stroked Jacob’s face. He tickled his nose like he used to do with Jacob when they would play. Sometimes he would just sit and hold Jacob’s hand for a little while. Several times I found him in the parlor lying in the floor watching the slide show and crying. It broke my heart and I felt so helpless.
Wesley, my 16 year old misses Jacob as much. He wanted to be with us when Jacob went to heaven and he told me that he does not regret one minute of it. He wanted to be one of Jacob’s pallbearers as well. I am very proud of my boys. They have been through a lot as well these last three years.
Jacob received many beautiful flowers and potted plants. My mom picked out a wooden cross that had white roses and purple flowers on it from me and my husband. It was made from split tree and looked very rugged but was so beautiful!
There were so many people who came to say goodbye to Jacob. It was wonderful to see all the people that Jacob had touched in his short time on Earth.
Jeff Angles opened the service with the song “I can only imagine.” Brother Robert read scripture and shared some memories of Jacob. The song “If you could see me now” was played and Dr. Rees Oliver, (Jacob’s Neonatalogist that transported him to Children’s when he was born) spoke about Jacob’s life and the impact that Jacob has had on the medical field as well as the spiritual world. Several people made the comment to me that Dr. Oliver missed his calling that he should have been a pastor. You could feel the Holy Spirit moving in that place. It was awesome! The Celebration was closed with a song that was written by Jeff Angles. The Lord laid it upon Jeff’s heart to write a song just for Jacob called "Jacob's Song". I cannot tell you how much this song touched my heart as well as everyone in the chapel. It was perfect.
I wanted to release doves at Jacob’s graveside service that were trained to fly back home but unfortunately, we could not find any that were trained. I decided on seven white doves to release in honor of Jacob and as a sign of completion.
Each grandparent, my boys, my husband and myself each took a dove and threw them up into the sky……..it was a pretty picture for a moment………the doves came flying back down on the ground around us and the kids started chasing them. It was funny. I was picturing Jacob laughing and chasing them as well. Jacob has the white doves sitting and watching over him.
Mike Royer with Channel 13 News called and asked if it would be too much of him to ask me if he could send out his photographer and a reporter to do a story on Jacob’s Celebration. Mike did a story on Jacob last summer and we have kept in touch ever since and he wanted to do a story and thought it would be really special to air the story on the day of Jacob’s Celebration. I told him that it would be wonderful and we would be honored to do it.
My husband and I went back to the cemetery and spent about an hour there with the photographer and reporter telling of the special gift of Jacob being an organ donor and sharing Jacob’s story. It aired on Channel 13 last night at 10:00pm. I was pleased at how they presented the story.
I want each and every one of you to know that I am so thankful to have friends and family as precious as you are. My husband and I could not have made it through the past three years without our Lord and Savior and without the many prayers and support of all of you. I extend a very special “Thank You” to my mom and dad who have taken care of Jacob for the past year so that I could work. I don’t know what I would have done without them. Please say a prayer for them because they, like me, are feeling so lost and heart broken.
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